Dude, you're insane

So -- after a semi-normal weekend of eating junk, and feeling the ill-effects that junk food causes to your mind and energy levels, my wife and I decided to cut sugar out of our diets completely. No foods with sugar as one of the primary ingredients (ranked 7th or higher in the list of ingredients) and no artificial sugars, which we all know is far more unhealthy for us than natural sugar. The exceptions to this new crazy idea were that we could have a few natural sugars, such as lactose in milk, and fructose, in natural fruits, and finally - honey. Yes, that would be our saving grace when in desperation.

The next question was how long we'd try the diet. We wanted this to be a change in lifestyle, not just a 30-day challenge. We decided on one year. This is where the title of this post comes in. When family and friends heard this news, they said something to that effect.

It has been over 3 months now. Our post-meal cravings for sugar were very strong for a few weeks, but have gotten less and less noticeable. We both feel a significant physical and mental change. Now the challenge is enduring another 9 months! We did make Thanksgiving and Christmas Day our only free days -- I haven't been this excited for Christmas since I was 7!

What happens when you mix a fatso and a teaser?

This is a true story about an employer who teased his overweight employee to the point of....

Well, I can't tell you what happened next, just watch and find out for yourself.

Why Mormon?

Being fat in the United States is getting more and more common everyday. Being a fat Mormon doesn't separate me from others struggling to unveil their confident self hiding under layers of chub. Whether they be "big-boned" scholars, mommies, atheists, workers, or students...being fat fundamentally limits all sides in one way or another.

So why bring up the Mormon thing? Well, for one because I believe it. I love it. Also because of it's beautiful doctrine about the body, and what a gift it is. And please keep in mind, I am not here for Bible-bashing or religious mockery. Good people abound in all faiths. Here's some of the goodness from my faith:

"The spirit and the body are the soul of man"

This is from our scripture Doctrine and Covenants . I love how simple this is. History and our own human passions have made compelling arguments that the body, with all of its weaknesses and frailties, is simply holding back our true spirit. Mormons are unique from most other Christians who commonly believe that Jesus does not have a body and that he is an all-encompassing spirit.

Not only do Mormons affirm that the Savior maintains his perfected resurrected body, we also recognize that our living breathing bodies we enjoy now are essential tools for our spirit. The body completes the spirit, making it a force to exercise its choice to bridle passions, read to our kids, get good grades, develop patience, pray daily, or cheat on our spouse. And also whether to eat all the leftover Halloween candy.

Essentially, this body is our testing grounds for that spirit that derived from our Father in Heaven. We want it to be clean and in good running condition, so that in the event our God needs to communicate to us through the still small voice, we won't be sidetracked by alcohol, hate, or chocolate.

Spirit + Body = Soul

Taking care of this body is good for the spirit, good for the soul.

A Short, But Fat Introduction

I suppose a proper introduction would be appropriate. I'm the "Desk Job Junkie" -- a 29 year-old male who hopped right over the "pleasantly-plump" stage and landed into the "unpleasantly-plump" category.

Have you ever thought about WHY you're overweight? Ok, stupid question. You probably ask yourself that question as often as I do. So -- let’s make a list of reasons we think have contributed to our obesity. I’ll start:

My dad died of a brain tumor when I was 8 years-old.
I received very little emotional support being the seventh of eight children.
My mom remarried a man who tried to love us, but also resented us for many (some valid) reasons.
My older brother died in an accident when I was 18 years-old, then my little brother two years ago of sudden heart failure (training for a marathon).
I work 10-12 hrs a day in front of a computer and the few remaining golden hours are spent with my wife and two little ones.

I could go on, but you get the idea. Although some of the items in this list may be more extreme than yours, I’m convinced that we eat food to fill an emptiness. With the loss of a father at a young age, I immediately began to try and fill that emptiness with whatever positive stimulant I could find. Food. It releases dopamine from your brain to create a sense of satisfaction or fulfillment throughout your body. I couldn’t stop eating food because, much like a drug high, soon the dopamine would wear off and I would have to face the emotional emptiness again.

But wait, it gets worse. Once your body starts getting multiple, heavy doses of dopamine each day, the drug-like buzz becomes less potent and you need more. We become desensitized to our bodies natural feelings of satisfaction and fulfillment and crave more and more.

Being a chub isn't pleasant. I feel it limits my ability to enjoy life to the fullest. Every day I wonder how much more "pleasant" life might be if I were free from this effin' (one of my favorite expletives) weight.

So --- rather than give up and go binge on a gallon of burnt almond fudge, I think it’s about time to fight these demons and reclaim the life we deserve and crave so badly...crave more than any chocolate smothered fat-bomb out there.

We want you to join us on this blog. The only way to overcome is to create a network of peers who are in the same boat (capacity overload!) with the same goals. You don’t have to disclose your name --- just EVERYTHING else :)

Wouldn’t it be wicked cool to tell people that you lost all your fat because you had a strenuous and grueling blog regimen?! Join us today!

Wish-I-Could-Wear-You Wednesday: Threadless T-shirts in Women's Cut

Being a stay-at-home mom to 3 kids, including a toddler and infant, is chaotic to say the least. There are many a morning that I slip on the dreaded sweatpants as I rush to fix breakfast, comb hair, nurse a baby, and drop off kids at school. And then we just keep going from there, until it's now dinner time and my hair is shoved into an elastic, no make-up, and the sweatpants are still lurking around.

It's not that I'm against comfortable. I'm totally in favor of it obviously. But before I cross the line and support a wardrobe of stretch pants and Winnie the Pooh Sweatshirts, I'll try the jeans and t-shirts phase first. I dabble in this phase of mommy wardrobe at my favorite t-shirt company, Threadless.

Everyday jokers and computer-lovers email designs to Threadless, a community of skinny and fat people rank the designs, and then they print up highly ranked t's and everyone is happy and sporting some creative goods.

This is an out of print shirt designed by Tom Burns, and is one of the first shirts I ever bought from Threadless. It's called "Communist Party" and features Stalin, Lenin, Fidel and others toasting it up like frat boys. I bought it for my little-soft-but-still-hot husband and "planned for shrinkage". I went Guys 2-XL. Trouble is I love the shirt so much it's mine now and it *gulp* fits.

This one is currently available and is called "A Dog's Instinct" by Tang Yau Hoong. I had to post this because I'm addicted to hoodies and jackets in my efforts to "layer" away my bulges. O! to be able to zip up a jacket and not stretch or tweak the design! as this joker does so beautifully.

Go girl.

By the way, how cool is this design? Let's look closer:

This is called "Colorblind" by Matheus Lopes. It's soooo....innocent, vintagey, and Jackson Pollock at the same time.

I won't even dabble in the Womens Cut T's. The sleeves are skinny and the waist is a bit tapered. So Fat Mo-Mom is left trying to be cool in the mens section. Fortunately I have Threadless to help me (try) to pull it off.

FatMormon would love to hear of your wardrobe dilemmas or delights. Please send your tips to our team at fatmormon [at] ldsliving [dot] com. Thanks.

Travel Tip Tuesday: Havasupai Reservation

One of my most memorable college experiences was earning geology credits while backpacking through the Grand Canyon. It was mid-October when I went, and while the rims were brisk and cold, the bottom of the Canyon was moderately perfect. After traveling with a full pack down the winding trail to the bottom of the canyon, my tribe spent a couple of days nursing toe-jams and sore knees tender enough to keep us from going back up, but mild enough for day-jaunts to waterfalls, veins of pink granite, and the dirty silty snake of the Colorado.

I told myself then, at the young age of eighteen, that I would return. From that trip I heard of what must be the geographics of the most unique Indian Reservation, Havasupai, and I was convinced that the many waterfalls, kind people, and even a restaurant (rumor?) would provide for the most adventurous and unique vacation in my distant future. I am now thirty-three, and am still planning on making it there...someday.

Trouble is, this body of mine. How well could my knees hold up now when they naturally cart around my invisible backpack squished around my insides. I essentially pack around 50+ pounds of rocks everywhere I go, and my body is feeling it. I fear the pain would diminish the glory of that trip. It's quite possible my pride would forever be injured.

Funny thing is, I stole these pictures from an old friend who recently made my trip. Of course, she hasn't done the marriage, pregnancies and fat thing like I have, so she's still reliving my youth. For now, I get to live vicariously through her...between nursings, game nights, and Parent Teacher Conference. In case you're wondering, I wouldn't trade places alright? My family is a trip in itself thank you very much. I'm just a little sidetracked by all this fat.

So here's the deal. I'm still young right? I'm not dead. Maybe if I can get on the ball, I can go to Havasupai and even dare to throw on real swimwear (instead of a tanktop, sarong, low-browed baseball hat, and oversized sunglasses).

Havasupai waits Fat Mo-Mom. Maybe it awaits you too...

FatMormon would love to hear of fabulous vacation spots to visit, or even how a particular trip was affected by your health. Please send your tips to our team at fatmormon [at] ldsliving [dot] com. Thanks.

So how fat are you?

I am fat. I also try not to dwell on it so much that I fail to love and serve my family and friends. But this is getting ridiculous. I love to swim! My kids do not know how to swim because I never take them!

Let's start the public humiliation trials shall we?
TODAY in the buff
at 5 feet 9 inches....

(drumroll please)

233 pounds

My Body Mass Index is officially 34.4
(Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater)