Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Tis the Season

The visiting teachers crossed me off the list early this month, and I officially received my first batch of Christmas Goodies. I know it's foreshadowing a deluge of sugar and fat coming my way. If sweets are your threat to eating healthy, I'm trying to come up with some options rather than snarfing them down:

  • Re-package sweets and give them to another friend not on the same block, at work, etc.
  • Toss them in the trash immediately without any guilt
  • Give everyone in the house one goodie off the plate, then freeze the rest until you can come to your senses
  • Throw in the towel and give yourself a reason to make a lifestyle change on January 1

As training for what is to come, try to watch all five minutes of this video without getting up salivating and/or eating some kind of junk. Good luck!




Cupcake Pops & Bites: Part 2 from bakerella on Vimeo.

Friday, November 21, 2008

Mom, Can I Have a Cookie?

A few years ago, I lived next door to the Super-Mormons. With two kids in close age with my daughter, they would rotate between "our house" and "their house". Dad was Elders Quorum President finishing school with three kids under 5, homeschooled by mom. The first time they came over to play, they stopped dead in their tracks when they saw we had a television, and then flatly proclaimed that they don't have T.V. because it invites the devil.


I couldn't help stating with a big smile and wild eyebrows "Well, the prophet is on T.V. every General Conference, so you can choose some good stuff too!" *wink*. It was kindof cute and innocent and disturbing all at the same time.

Apart from being deprived the inane joys of television, these kids also lacked the joys of sugar. On one particularly intense play-session, I invited the kids to refuel with some milk and graham crackers. It was the day I forever changed their lives, or their taste buds.

From that day on, they couldn't step foot in my house without seeking me out to politely ask me if they could have a brown cracker. The little darlings didn't even have a name for them.


"I'll get you kids a snack after playing for a while, alright?" and then I would send them off to play with my daughter. Ten minutes later, my daughter would appear alone and ask for a graham cracker.

"I'll get you all some later, just go play right now alright?" and she would run off, unphased.

Ten minutes later: "Mom, just give us a cracker". She was more annoyed at being interrupted with her pretend sessions. Although she didn't have the words for it yet, I could tell what she was feeling at the constant interruptions from her sugar-deprived buddies: Get over the brown crackers already!

And so I'm left wondering, as a mom, a Fat Mormon Mom, what is the best sugar policy for my kids?

For myself, I grew up in a house that always had chocolate chip cookies. I'm sure I snarfed them down at some point, but I remember that eventually I stopped eating them. They were available, so what? I had better things to do.

My husband was the oldest of seven kids. Their mom locked powdered sugar up in a cabinet, because her kids would literally spoon powdered sugar, brown sugar, or table sugar straight into their mouths if she didn't.

Consequently, he would constantly appear hungry-eyed whenever he played with his next door neighbor, the one who always had popsicles in the freezer. He couldn't say hi without asking for a popsicle. He would check out the new toys, play around, but in the back of his head he knew there was an entire bag of popsicles for the taking, and he couldn't leave without getting one.

Now I'm not saying that either of these policies work for everyone. My mom always made cookies, and I was busy running, jumping, skipping, and twirling to notice. But now I'm the mom, and if I make cookies for my kids, I usually end up behaving like the jittery sugar-starved neighbors I used to laugh at. Okay, yes I have things to do, laundry to fold, but that cookie keeps smiling at me.

So what's your policy?

In overhauling our nutrition to be more healthy, should we fear the cravings of our kids?

Will the constant deprivation of sweets make them food freaks when they finally leave the house and go to college?

What do you think?

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Our Old Friend, The Late Night Binge

There is nothing quite like watching reruns of your favorite TV show while inhaling a big bowl of ice cream. It’s relaxing and satisfying. You can forget all your stresses for that short period and just “veg”.

I suppose there is just one problem with all that. The “veg” part. Ironic that we have coined the term “veg out” for someone who needs to relax and do nothing. It should probably be “fat out” or “chubbify” – something more descriptive of the actual results of that action.

A few weeks ago it hit me that this period of the day was when I consumed half of my daily calories. Well...nearly half. It was so easy to have dinner and then snack all the rest of the night. I realized that putting a stop to this may just be one of the most effective solutions to weight loss.

It has been 2 weeks now. I can’t eat anything after 7:30pm. I can drink water or juice, but nothing else. I’ve lost 6 lbs in the last 2 weeks. I’ve also been exercising several times a week, but I’ve been doing that for a few months. This new epiphany just may be the final element to forge my magic bullet.

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

Travel Tip Tuesday: Come to Zion

Before I start giving guilt trips about all the warm beaches I can't go to because I'm fat and pale, I wanted to highlight a perfect traveling opportunity. First, winter travel is fabulous. There are less tourists, and you can wear sweaters and layers and not look suspicious. Second, since SLC equals Zion act now to get this hot airline offer from Southwest, book by TODAY to or from the great city of Salt Lake and get 50% off.

The dirty details:
  • Travel between December 3 and February 9 of next year
  • BLACKOUT dates December 18-January 4
  • promo code is FLYSLC

Here's the link

Friday, November 14, 2008

You Can't Tell Me What to Do

Having a tough day as I realize exactly what a job I have ahead of me. Some days my mind wanders to the darkness and I think: "I could be HALF my weight and just be slightly under normal". Or "What have you done to yourself, you are such a cow!". Perhaps my perspective is all wrong. Perhaps I'm just painfully honest. Whatever it is, it's bringing me down.

Whenever this happens, it helps to try to serve others. Hosted my dear friend with a newborn, her 5th, and going through the exciting turmoil of hormone fluctuations, needy kids, and not fitting into her old pants yet. It felt good to have her in my home and fix a healthy meal, hang out and talk about how motherhood is hard but good, and how we are still beautiful, smart, and funny even though we're shopping in the plus size section.

Since I think I'm basically talking to myself (does ANYBODY even know about this blog?), I wonder if I needed the support I thought the blog would give or if, like I feared, I'm in this completely by myself.

Desk Job Junkie just posted about his eating plan, and because I know that diets don't work, only a permanent lifestyle change works, then I sit in a moment of repose...eating cookies, and wondering about what permanent lifestyle changes I should make...and if it will hurt.

My memory has been preaching to me of past phases of my life and my relationship with God and food. I have an eating plan, I think, that will help my body and mind clear. I even tracked the miles Curves for Women is from my home. It's 2.5 miles. I could ride my bike, do that old ladies workout (that I actually kindof like), and ride home. Moving is key to all of this right?

I also reconnected with a dear old friend this week. She is so smart, here is something that she said:

Every time we start something new, especially changing old ingrained habits, there's an uphill battle before it gets easier. Each of the 3 times in my life that I've been successful at losing weight, it was really hard for about 2 weeks before it seemed doable. C.S. Lewis said that sinners think people who haven't sinned don't understand it as well as they do. But he said that those who haven't given in to sin understand it best because they rode it out until the temptation was gone-- those who give in never know how tough it would have gotten if they hadn't given in. Hard things don't generally stay hard. That's one of the greatest things about our God-in-embryo natures.

Which brings me to the beginning of a lifestyle change. The last few times I tried to overhaul my diet, around day 3 I started to feel really picked on. I felt like "they" were trying to boss me around and take away my freedom to choose. You can't tell me what to do!! I would eventually say while eating my second helping of ice cream. Sometimes I am my own worst enemy. But the tidbit above (thanks S.W.S.) helps put that in perspective.

So just re-grouping here. Started building up the pantry for my healthier menus rolling around my head. Slowly we're getting this out in words, where they will stick, and not be forgotten.

Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Dude, you're insane

So -- after a semi-normal weekend of eating junk, and feeling the ill-effects that junk food causes to your mind and energy levels, my wife and I decided to cut sugar out of our diets completely. No foods with sugar as one of the primary ingredients (ranked 7th or higher in the list of ingredients) and no artificial sugars, which we all know is far more unhealthy for us than natural sugar. The exceptions to this new crazy idea were that we could have a few natural sugars, such as lactose in milk, and fructose, in natural fruits, and finally - honey. Yes, that would be our saving grace when in desperation.

The next question was how long we'd try the diet. We wanted this to be a change in lifestyle, not just a 30-day challenge. We decided on one year. This is where the title of this post comes in. When family and friends heard this news, they said something to that effect.

It has been over 3 months now. Our post-meal cravings for sugar were very strong for a few weeks, but have gotten less and less noticeable. We both feel a significant physical and mental change. Now the challenge is enduring another 9 months! We did make Thanksgiving and Christmas Day our only free days -- I haven't been this excited for Christmas since I was 7!

Monday, November 10, 2008

What happens when you mix a fatso and a teaser?

This is a true story about an employer who teased his overweight employee to the point of....

Well, I can't tell you what happened next, just watch and find out for yourself.


Sunday, November 9, 2008

Why Mormon?

Being fat in the United States is getting more and more common everyday. Being a fat Mormon doesn't separate me from others struggling to unveil their confident self hiding under layers of chub. Whether they be "big-boned" scholars, mommies, atheists, workers, or students...being fat fundamentally limits all sides in one way or another.

So why bring up the Mormon thing? Well, for one because I believe it. I love it. Also because of it's beautiful doctrine about the body, and what a gift it is. And please keep in mind, I am not here for Bible-bashing or religious mockery. Good people abound in all faiths. Here's some of the goodness from my faith:

"The spirit and the body are the soul of man"

This is from our scripture Doctrine and Covenants . I love how simple this is. History and our own human passions have made compelling arguments that the body, with all of its weaknesses and frailties, is simply holding back our true spirit. Mormons are unique from most other Christians who commonly believe that Jesus does not have a body and that he is an all-encompassing spirit.

Not only do Mormons affirm that the Savior maintains his perfected resurrected body, we also recognize that our living breathing bodies we enjoy now are essential tools for our spirit. The body completes the spirit, making it a force to exercise its choice to bridle passions, read to our kids, get good grades, develop patience, pray daily, or cheat on our spouse. And also whether to eat all the leftover Halloween candy.

Essentially, this body is our testing grounds for that spirit that derived from our Father in Heaven. We want it to be clean and in good running condition, so that in the event our God needs to communicate to us through the still small voice, we won't be sidetracked by alcohol, hate, or chocolate.

Spirit + Body = Soul

Taking care of this body is good for the spirit, good for the soul.

Wednesday, November 5, 2008

A Short, But Fat Introduction

I suppose a proper introduction would be appropriate. I'm the "Desk Job Junkie" -- a 29 year-old male who hopped right over the "pleasantly-plump" stage and landed into the "unpleasantly-plump" category.

Have you ever thought about WHY you're overweight? Ok, stupid question. You probably ask yourself that question as often as I do. So -- let’s make a list of reasons we think have contributed to our obesity. I’ll start:

My dad died of a brain tumor when I was 8 years-old.
I received very little emotional support being the seventh of eight children.
My mom remarried a man who tried to love us, but also resented us for many (some valid) reasons.
My older brother died in an accident when I was 18 years-old, then my little brother two years ago of sudden heart failure (training for a marathon).
I work 10-12 hrs a day in front of a computer and the few remaining golden hours are spent with my wife and two little ones.

I could go on, but you get the idea. Although some of the items in this list may be more extreme than yours, I’m convinced that we eat food to fill an emptiness. With the loss of a father at a young age, I immediately began to try and fill that emptiness with whatever positive stimulant I could find. Food. It releases dopamine from your brain to create a sense of satisfaction or fulfillment throughout your body. I couldn’t stop eating food because, much like a drug high, soon the dopamine would wear off and I would have to face the emotional emptiness again.

But wait, it gets worse. Once your body starts getting multiple, heavy doses of dopamine each day, the drug-like buzz becomes less potent and you need more. We become desensitized to our bodies natural feelings of satisfaction and fulfillment and crave more and more.

Being a chub isn't pleasant. I feel it limits my ability to enjoy life to the fullest. Every day I wonder how much more "pleasant" life might be if I were free from this effin' (one of my favorite expletives) weight.

So --- rather than give up and go binge on a gallon of burnt almond fudge, I think it’s about time to fight these demons and reclaim the life we deserve and crave so badly...crave more than any chocolate smothered fat-bomb out there.

We want you to join us on this blog. The only way to overcome is to create a network of peers who are in the same boat (capacity overload!) with the same goals. You don’t have to disclose your name --- just EVERYTHING else :)

Wouldn’t it be wicked cool to tell people that you lost all your fat because you had a strenuous and grueling blog regimen?! Join us today!

Wish-I-Could-Wear-You Wednesday: Threadless T-shirts in Women's Cut

Being a stay-at-home mom to 3 kids, including a toddler and infant, is chaotic to say the least. There are many a morning that I slip on the dreaded sweatpants as I rush to fix breakfast, comb hair, nurse a baby, and drop off kids at school. And then we just keep going from there, until it's now dinner time and my hair is shoved into an elastic, no make-up, and the sweatpants are still lurking around.

It's not that I'm against comfortable. I'm totally in favor of it obviously. But before I cross the line and support a wardrobe of stretch pants and Winnie the Pooh Sweatshirts, I'll try the jeans and t-shirts phase first. I dabble in this phase of mommy wardrobe at my favorite t-shirt company, Threadless.

Everyday jokers and computer-lovers email designs to Threadless, a community of skinny and fat people rank the designs, and then they print up highly ranked t's and everyone is happy and sporting some creative goods.




This is an out of print shirt designed by Tom Burns, and is one of the first shirts I ever bought from Threadless. It's called "Communist Party" and features Stalin, Lenin, Fidel and others toasting it up like frat boys. I bought it for my little-soft-but-still-hot husband and "planned for shrinkage". I went Guys 2-XL. Trouble is I love the shirt so much it's mine now and it *gulp* fits.


This one is currently available and is called "A Dog's Instinct" by Tang Yau Hoong. I had to post this because I'm addicted to hoodies and jackets in my efforts to "layer" away my bulges. O! to be able to zip up a jacket and not stretch or tweak the design! as this joker does so beautifully.

Go girl.


By the way, how cool is this design? Let's look closer:

This is called "Colorblind" by Matheus Lopes. It's soooo....innocent, vintagey, and Jackson Pollock at the same time.

I won't even dabble in the Womens Cut T's. The sleeves are skinny and the waist is a bit tapered. So Fat Mo-Mom is left trying to be cool in the mens section. Fortunately I have Threadless to help me (try) to pull it off.

FatMormon would love to hear of your wardrobe dilemmas or delights. Please send your tips to our team at fatmormon [at] ldsliving [dot] com. Thanks.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Travel Tip Tuesday: Havasupai Reservation

One of my most memorable college experiences was earning geology credits while backpacking through the Grand Canyon. It was mid-October when I went, and while the rims were brisk and cold, the bottom of the Canyon was moderately perfect. After traveling with a full pack down the winding trail to the bottom of the canyon, my tribe spent a couple of days nursing toe-jams and sore knees tender enough to keep us from going back up, but mild enough for day-jaunts to waterfalls, veins of pink granite, and the dirty silty snake of the Colorado.

I told myself then, at the young age of eighteen, that I would return. From that trip I heard of what must be the geographics of the most unique Indian Reservation, Havasupai, and I was convinced that the many waterfalls, kind people, and even a restaurant (rumor?) would provide for the most adventurous and unique vacation in my distant future. I am now thirty-three, and am still planning on making it there...someday.

Trouble is, this body of mine. How well could my knees hold up now when they naturally cart around my invisible backpack squished around my insides. I essentially pack around 50+ pounds of rocks everywhere I go, and my body is feeling it. I fear the pain would diminish the glory of that trip. It's quite possible my pride would forever be injured.




Funny thing is, I stole these pictures from an old friend who recently made my trip. Of course, she hasn't done the marriage, pregnancies and fat thing like I have, so she's still reliving my youth. For now, I get to live vicariously through her...between nursings, game nights, and Parent Teacher Conference. In case you're wondering, I wouldn't trade places alright? My family is a trip in itself thank you very much. I'm just a little sidetracked by all this fat.
So here's the deal. I'm still young right? I'm not dead. Maybe if I can get on the ball, I can go to Havasupai and even dare to throw on real swimwear (instead of a tanktop, sarong, low-browed baseball hat, and oversized sunglasses).

Havasupai waits Fat Mo-Mom. Maybe it awaits you too...

FatMormon would love to hear of fabulous vacation spots to visit, or even how a particular trip was affected by your health. Please send your tips to our team at fatmormon [at] ldsliving [dot] com. Thanks.

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

So how fat are you?

I am fat. I also try not to dwell on it so much that I fail to love and serve my family and friends. But this is getting ridiculous. I love to swim! My kids do not know how to swim because I never take them!

Let's start the public humiliation trials shall we?
TODAY in the buff
at 5 feet 9 inches....

(drumroll please)

233 pounds

My Body Mass Index is officially 34.4
(Obesity = BMI of 30 or greater)